The Elusive Art of the IEP Part II

“If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it.”

Find part 1 here

Four: Take the preferences and personality of your nonspeaker into account: This seems obvious but it took me a long time to really wrap my head around. I am a mom, but I am also an ambassador or representative for my nonspeaker, especially while they are in the acquisition phase of spelling to communicate. My nonspeaking son would be MORTIFIED if I were rude or even too forward, blunt, or entitled in any way in an IEP meeting. It doesn’t mean he doesn’t want me to stand up for him. He wants me to write, to speak, to model, to help people understand nonspeakers.

When I think about how my kids feel about the way I act, it is very sobering. I also consider the fallout. I want people to get to know my kids without being predisposed to dislike them because they dislike me.

Five: When all else fails, find a way around. I came across this quote while writing a lesson about water, and I love it.

Margaret Atwood said:

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can’t go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”

So, go where you want to go, with flow. This year has not turned out at all like we expected. The teacher we were planning to have found a different path. The new teacher seems amazing, but it’s like starting all over. I told Geo, let’s give it a few weeks and assess. I reached out to our nearby Farm School to see if it would be an option for him to go there and for me to train a CRP. I want him to know that we do hard things, but we are flexible. If something isn’t working, sometimes thinking outside the box provides another way.

Six: There are times to blaze trails more forcefully and also, let them know they matter. These thoughts I’ve put down are not the only way and not always the best way. We also need people to hold others accountable. And sometimes at the right time in the right way, someone fierce gets laws changed and it’s amazing. I think it’s important to let our nonspeakers know that their very existence in and around others is important. It is paving a way, one difficult brick at a time, so that future nonspeakers can walk the path of education and communication with less difficulty than those who came before. Every little bit matters.